Here’s a list of things Teemu Selanne probably broke by hitting a golf ball inside the Honda Center
By Pat Iversen
There is no wrong answer.
If you ever wonder what Teemu Selanne does now that he’s retired, here’s your answer!
This is amazing, but we need to know what exactly he hit. Here’s some baseless speculation:
- The Stanley Cup! A hole-in-one!
- Randy Carlyle’s toaster
- The cryo-chamber containing Scott Niedermayer’s frozen body, saved in case of defensive emergencies
- Or Walt Disney’s cryo-chamber next to it
- Emilio Estevez
- Corey Perry (wishful thinking)
- The giant safe of cash being saved for the end of Hampus Lindholm’s bridge contract
- An actual duck. Jerk!
- The inter-dimensional barrier separating our world from Puckworld
We may never know.
Also, if a Duck trips over a hole where a chunk of Honda Center ice used to be, you know who to blame:
- Minor league outfielders’ unfortunate collision results in hilarious home run
- Charles Oliveira wants to go back to featherweight, but open to fights at lightweight
- Peter Sobotta disses Emil Meek after UFC Stockholm win: ‘I want to fight real fighters, not clowns’
- Fernando Alonso didn’t win the Indianapolis 500, but he won the day